Bad Script Reading

“Thank you. It’s great to be at Trump Tower.

Some of the candidates, they went in. They didn’t know the air-conditioner didn’t work. They sweated like dogs.

Our country is in serious trouble.

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China.

I beat China all the time. All the time.

When was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo? It doesn’t exist, folks.

And, you know, China comes over and they dump all their stuff, and I buy it. I buy it, because, frankly, I have an obligation to buy it because

I beat China all the time. All the time.

You know, when President Obama was elected, he was vibrant. He was young. I really thought that he would be a great cheerleader.

But I speak to ISIS and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes common sense. It only makes common sense.

I’m in competition with Islamic terrorism

They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, are good people.

When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending you. They’re not sending you.

They’re sending their best.

They just built a hotel in Syria. Can you believe this? They built a hotel.

So now ISIS has the oil, and a hotel. And it’s got to stop and it’s got to stop fast.

But we don’t know. Because we have no competence, and I will tell you this, and I said it very strongly, years ago, I said— I love the military, and I want to have the strongest military that we’ve ever had. But I said, “Don’t hit,” because you’re going to totally destabilize the Middle East and somebody else.

We have wounded soldiers — all over the place — they’re great — all over the place, thousands and thousands of wounded soldiers who I love.

But every time we give Iraq a bullet, they leave it.

Last week, I read 2,300 Humvees— these are big vehicles folks. But the real number, the real number is anywhere from 18 to 19 and maybe even 21.

Our enemies have jobs. That’s right. That’s right.

Because China has jobs and Mexico has jobs. We have people that have no incentive to work. But Mexico and China all have jobs.

But we have the “big lie”, and nobody talks about it, because it’s nonsense.

It came out recently Putin thought the television boy was thirty years old, and I thought it was horrible when it was broadcast because people look at us and they say, “That is a group of people.”

You have to be hit by a tractor, literally, a tractor, to use Obamacare. I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac.

And remember the $3 website? I have so many websites, I have them all over the place.

I hire people and they don’t know. I’m meeting with three of them in the next week.

I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody. Am I supposed to dislike them?

I like them.

And I hear their speeches, “What do we do? How do we do it? Could we have your support?”

I like them.

And I watch the speeches.

I have a friend who’s a lobbyist, and he said to me the other day, “Donald, the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen. I never saw anything like it.” But people say “What’s going on? I just want a job. Just get me a job. I don’t need the rhetoric. I want a job. And we also need a cheerleader.” — But you know what?

It won’t happen. It won’t happen. Because we have to stop doing things for some people.

Our great leader wrote “The Art of the Deal.”

And that’s what we have representing us

You don’t even have a chance. You’re controlled fully— you’re controlled fully. you will never make America great again.

Our country needs the lobbyists, the donors, and the special interests, fully.

Because the greatest social program that God ever created, was, I’m going to tell you— stupid for a number of reasons.

I own a big chunk of the Americas, that I got from China in a war. Very valuable.

I beat China all the time. All the time.

I love China. The biggest bank in the world.”

 

 

This is the first in a series of revisions of Donald Trump’s speeches I am playing around with. While every word has been taken from his Presidential announcement speech (provided by the Time staff at Time.com as of June 16, 2015) I have however, taken EXTREME liberty with my own rewording of the original speech, so I could transform much of it into the piece you just read. I did not do this for political reasons, although some wording does play as such. Rather, I did this for entertainment purpose only. I hope you enjoyed. More to come. Mwahahahahaha!

Click here to read (and compare) the full, unadulterated transcript (as provided by Time.com) http://time.com/3923128/donald-trump-announcement-speech/)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s