Words to Live By

I wake up in the morning and I get up and I eat something but sometimes I don’t because I’m not hungry and so I go to church to pay my rent to god because he is the lord of the land but sometimes I only have buttons and other times I pray for money instead because I cannot pay rent without money but I always say hi and ask him how he’s doing and he replies I’m ok thanks how are you and I say I am ok but you know I have seen better days and he says I know that’s right and he laughs and I laugh to be polite because it wasn’t funny the first time but you know people need to be humored so I go across the street and order a cup-o-joe to wash away the taste of stale cracker and unsweetened cranberry juice given to me by a stranger in a uniform whose name isn’t Joe but her uniform allows her to serve children but only when she is in her uniform otherwise it is just creepy and I would never talk to her because she is a stranger and that is scary but if you call me and I don’t know you please leave your name and a brief two syllable message so I can listen to it later and maybe snicker because it is funny unless it isn’t in which case it isn’t funny so maybe I won’t laugh like if your family died unless you go into detail about how it happened then I probably will laugh because I don’t know you or your family so I know this might sound mean but it is none of my business what happens to your family so yeah I will most likely laugh and it is your fault because you called a stranger and told him very intimate details about something traumatic in your life please don’t make that mistake again because I cannot guarantee you it will be funny the second time unless it is then it is funny and I will laugh if it is I guess.


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